I have genital herpes and recently had the opportunity to tell a couple of guys about it. The most important thing is for the person with herpes to know the facts, to communicate, and to have their partner’s health be first and foremost.
If I have any inkling of an outbreak I tell them not to touch me. It doesn’t mean that I can’t use my mouth, if I have no cold sores.
Web MD has a great herpes forum and area with general information about herpes. Tainted Touch is a great resource for getting questions answered quickly and honestly.
Personal views on how and when you tell someone you have it
If it is someone you are meeting online, tell them before you even meet them in person. Recently I met a guy through Match.com. I told him in advance along with the basic facts about herpes in our population.
How and when you’d prefer to be told that someone has it
I have had as good success doing it by email, phone or in person IN CONJUNCTION with the facts and the fact that my #1 concern is him.
What are your greatest concerns
My concern is giving herpes and obviously theirs – is getting it.
Do you see it as a big deal, breaker or non-issue?
It has been a non-issue with every guy I have told and I make sure they know that I am going to be honest and mention it whenever I think they need to be concerned.
As with everything in a relationship, honesty and communication are key.