If you have herpes and have the integrity to tell someone about it before you get sexually involved and they reject you because of it, it is one of the most devastating forms of rejection imaginable. Just as bad as being rejected because of your race, or physical disability or anything else not under your control, and just as ignorant and intolerable.
When people tell me their rejection stories I feel for them. Some are so shaken by it that they stop dating for years or ghettoize themselves to only dating others with herpes.
What I say to them is that "He or She was Just not that into You." No one who really wants a person, and I do mean want the person, the whole person and the package that comes with them, will reject them just because they have herpes. Who would want that kind of superficial love anyways?
Herpes is a great litmus test to let you know who really cares about you and desires you.
It reasonable for someone to want the risks and consequences explained to them. It’s reasonable for someone not to be enthusiastic about you having herpes- who would be? But anyone who really loved or or though you were sexy before finding out about your herpes will still think so afterwards.
When you further explain to them that you are managing your herpes with herbal medicine or drug therapy and that you practice safer sex with a condom and an anti-viral gel there should be no reason for them not to want to sex you up right then and there.
What it all comes to is fear. Do not be afraid of being rejected because of having herpes.
Dear member of the Herpes Nation: Hold you head up high. Remember who you are. How special you are. How deserving you are of love and all it’s fruits. Don’t let anyone diss you or make you feel less than important or special. Anyone who wants you must accept the whole package of your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that.
If you’ve been rejected or made to feel “less than” – Remember that although you cannot control what happens to you in this life you can control how you choose to react to whatever happens. You are still a prize and whoever is fortunate enough to be in your life is blessed.
There are plenty of people on sites like Single-Again who have felt rejection at some time or another – it’s not just about dating, it’s about friends, community and caring. Check out the groups and activity that’s going on there.